All You Need to Know About Love Bombing

The start of a new relationship is often packed full of kind words, romantic gestures and a deep and burning need to be close to the object of your affection. The chemicals and hormones released as your feelings deepen for someone can make you feel incredible. But unfortunately, they can also blind you to clear red flags you should look out for. One of these is love bombing. But what is it? How can you tell the difference between love bombing and genuine loving feelings and gestures? And what do you do if you think you’re dating a love bomber? Don’t worry, we got you.

Love Bombing Meaning – What is Love Bombing?

Love bombing examples include intense displays of affection, adoration, and clinginess very early on in a relationship. Love bombers may also send elaborate gifts and show their affection with grand gestures that make you feel like the most treasured person on Earth. Love bombing usually happens at the beginning of a relationship, but it’s not uncommon for a love bomber to use these tactics to win back the affection of someone they’ve hurt.

What is the Psychology Behind Love Bombing?

The aim is to quickly establish a deep emotional connection which will help them gain control of the person they’ve got their eye on. The compliments, gifts, and constant communication can make you feel intensely desired and loved. However, beneath the surface, love bombing is a form of manipulation, as the intense affection is not genuine and certainly not sustainable. Once the love bomber has gained control or dominance, they may begin to exhibit manipulative or controlling behaviour. Eventually, they’ll probably lose interest altogether and back off completely, leaving the victim confused, feeling abandoned and deeply hurt.

Do They Know They Are Love Bombing You?

Love bombing is often a tactic used by people with narcissistic personality traits. Some may be aware of what they are doing and why they are doing it, while others mightn’t see their behaviour as problematic. They may genuinely believe their feelings are real at that time. Which is why it’s very easy to fall for a love bomber. The line between reality and fantasy is blurred and the feelings they display to you seem so genuine that it’s hard not to get sucked in. The next thing you know, you are head over heels in love and completely at their mercy.

Love Bombing Signs: What to Look Out For?

Have you ever heard the saying ‘if it seems to good to be true, it probably is’? Love bombers often appear too good to be true. Love bombing signs include showering their target with compliments, affection, and promises of a perfect future. Whilst this is normal in a healthy relationship, you normally take time to reach this point. If it happens unusually fast or is very intense very quickly, be careful. Ask them about previous relationships and keep a level head when considering your future with them. Whilst it’s amazing to get swept up in love, it’s important you protect yourself too.

When a love bomber drops you, they drop you from such a height it can be hard to get back up.

How Long Does Love Bombing Last?

Love bombing lasts until they get bored which usually happens when they’ve got what they want. When you are theirs and only theirs, you’re in love with them and you’ve given them all the validation they could possibly need. Remember that love bombers are often narcissists, and these people need constant validation from various people. As soon as you’ve provided what they need, they’ll move on. And more often than not, they’ll make you feel like it’s your fault. It’s not, by the way – don’t forget that.

Why is Love Bombing Bad?

Well, despite its initial appeal and all the warm and fuzzy feelings it can bring, love bombing can be very damaging for several reasons:

  1. It’s a manipulative tactic used to gain control over someone by overwhelming them with excessive affection and attention. This can create an unhealthy power dynamic and erode the targeted person's independence and autonomy.
  2. Love bombing often lacks sincerity and genuine emotional connection, as its primary purpose is to manipulate rather than foster a healthy relationship. It can also lead to emotional dependency, as the recipient may become reliant on the constant validation and positivity (because, let’s face it, it feels awesome to love and be loved back, but only if it’s genuine)
  3. Once the love bomber gets what they want, they may abruptly withdraw their affection, leaving you with a broken heart and your confidence on the floor.

Ultimately, love bombing undermines trust, authenticity, and the potential for genuine love and growth in relationships. Slow and steady wins the race.

That’s not to say you can’t feel fireworks and stomach flips and invest in gorgeous new lingerie to wear for your new beau, but take a step back if it feels like it’s all happening too quickly. This is especially important if you’re in a vulnerable phase of your life. If you’ve recently come out of a relationship, or you’re struggling with your emotions, it can be tempting to cling on to any port in a storm, and someone offering you the world and more can seem like a dream come true.

But take it slowly, don’t rely on anyone else to put your pieces back together. Protect your heart and keep your head. Relationships develop over time and milestones such as becoming official, saying I love you, and allowing them to meet your family (especially if you have children) shouldn’t be rushed. Otherwise, what is there to look forward to?

And if you’ve been a victim of love bombing, trust us when we say, you’re not to blame. Take your time to reclaim your confidence and self-worth and know that you are amazing and deserving of love. Real, genuine love.

And in the meantime, invest in a good vibrator – they have the same emotional maturity as a love bomber but with none of the complications. You got this.