What Women Want in Bed: The Things She Wishes You Knew About Sex

Hollywood and pornographic movies would have you believing that a woman can arrive at her desired destination in a matter of minutes. But in reality, a quick fondle or penetration isn’t going to cut it between the sheets.

Whether you’re a man or a woman, if you have a special woman in your life and you want to know how to please her, our guide has got you covered. With foreplay tips for men and women, a breakdown of the pleasure zones, and even some surprising sex facts about women, read on to become the sexpert she needs you to be.

The Most Pleasurable Things to do to a Woman

Firstly, there’s no point trying to drive a car that isn’t started, and consent is sexy, so ensure she wants it too before you implement our tips to drive her wild. Secondly, and one of the most important things to do, is to communicate with her. Ask her what she likes, especially if this is a new relationship. Your last partner may have loved you sucking her toes like an excitable child with a Chupa Chup, but the new woman in your life might hate the thought of her feet being anywhere near your face. You don’t have to ask her outright either, subtle hints or ‘joking but not really joking’ banter can give you an indication of what she’s in to.

Every woman is different, but they share the same erogenous zones – tap into these and you’ll tap into her. Don’t just dive into the places you learned about in biology, take your time, build up the suspense. Many women love to be teased, though not for too long – you need to strike the perfect balance, don’t make her beg (unless she’s into that).

How to Turn a Woman On

Start off by teasing her and avoiding the main erogenous zones. Yes, you read that right, avoid them (but only for a little while). Let’s say between the legs and her breasts are off limits and you’ve got to change up your game plan. Bypassing her main erogenous zones and instead focusing on other areas can really get a woman going. The anticipation of what’s to come is often as good as the main event itself. But how do you know where to aim your attention?

Send Her to Heaven by Targeting the Nerve Endings

One of the things men should know about sex is where a woman’s nerve endings are as these are the main erogenous zones that will have her coming back for more. If you are a woman in a same sex relationship, you likely know where these are, as you have them too, but if not, read on! As well as the 8000 (wow) nerve endings in the clitoris, there are plenty of other areas on the body that are jam packed with nerve endings just dying to be stimulated.

Heads Up – Gentle to Firm Hair Pulling is Sexy

Ah the scalp. The cause of many a childhood tears as parents attempt to brush knots out of hair. The reason it hurts so much is because the scalp is full of nerve endings. And what made us wince as youngsters actually has the opposite effect in a more mature setting. Firm but gentle hair tugging during kissing or foreplay stimulates the nerve endings on the scalp, blurring those lines between pleasure and pain, and bringing a hint of BDSM into play. Just make sure you use the full fist and grab close to the scalp to assert authority and give a gentle pull. Yanking her ponytail or a small clump of hair actually just brings back memories of childhood bullies.

Whisper Sweet Nothings – Go for the Ears

The ears are one of the most sensitive parts of the body and ear kissing done right can send men and women alike to heady new heights of horniness. Kiss or nibble her ear, or the areas around them – especially the area of the neck underneath the ears. If she likes it, you’ll know straight away, and if she’s not into it she’ll probably move her head fast enough to cause whiplash. Either way, you’ll know where you stand with ear kissing.

Kiss Her Neck (seriously, do it now)

Neck kissing is universally known to make both women and men weak at the knees. Go gently at first and then take her by surprise with something a little rougher, maybe involving your teeth. The key is to keep her guessing about what you’re going to do or where you’re going to go next. Combine neck kissing with the hair pulling we touched on earlier and she’ll probably be begging you for mercy.

Go Back to Basics

With a large volume of nerve endings in the lower back, this is not an area to be overlooked. The age-old classic, a back massage is both sensual and erotic, and it brings couples closer; add a splash of massage oil to add to the enjoyment and sensuality. Alternatively, get her to lay on her stomach and use either a tickler, your lips, tongue, or just your breath to tease this highly sensitive area just above her bum. Pull her up onto all fours and focus on this area. Being in the doggy style position will leave her feeling a little vulnerable too and somewhat at your mercy should you decide to slip yourself or a sex toy inside her.

Stroke Her Inner Arms, Wrists and Underarms

Cast your mind back to the scene in Dirty Dancing where Patrick Swayze runs the back of his hand down Jennifer Grey’s inner arm, grazing her armpit in the process. Yes, she laughed at first but then came to the realisation that it was totally hot…and we all know where that led. If she’s into it, you could use cuffs or bondage rope to tie her up, hands above her head, perhaps blindfolded, and get to work touching her in these places and in ways that no one else is likely to have done before. It’ll take her by surprise, and she’ll probably love it. Though if she’s very ticklish be aware of queues to stop or to veer away from the underarm area.

Teasing is Pleasing

Unless you’re in a rush to get out the door and you’re just having a quickie, you should take time to enjoy sex with your partner. You wouldn’t go straight to the main courses at a buffet, would you? Before you dive straight into oral, spend some time teasing her bottom half. Kiss or gently bite her inner thigh or run your tongue along her ankle or calf. If you have a thing for feet, take things further south, but look out for signs that it’s not her thing and head elsewhere on her body if she pulls her foot away or seems unsure. Kiss, nuzzle or gently bite the areas surrounding the clitoris and build up to the moment you make contact with her most sensitive area and the response you get will be worth the wait.

Ask Her to Tell You What Works for Her

Trust and communication are vital in any relationship, and your lovely lady needs to trust that she can be open and honest with you about what does and doesn’t work for her. Of the many sex facts about women, one you may not be familiar with is that most women don’t orgasm from penetrative sex. The Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy polled 1000 women aged between 18 and 94 and a whopping 80% of women confirmed that they are unable to reach climax through penetration alone.

This doesn’t mean she hasn’t loved you being inside her though, far from it. Penetrative sex feels great even without orgasm and it certainly helps to heighten the connection you have with one another, but clitoral stimulation is most likely to get her grinning ear to ear and talking about you to her friends. Bring a bullet vibrator to the party and she’ll thank you in kind.

What Do Women Enjoy About Sex?

What women love about sex depends on many different factors, including the type of relationship they have with the other person. People often talk about how women are more emotion driven and sex is more of a personal thing for a woman, but this isn’t always how women think about sex. Sometimes she just wants some really good, passionate, wild sex with someone she trusts and who knows what they are doing – the trust element being vital. A woman is less likely to meet someone online, for example, and just turn up to their house for a bit of wham bam thank you ma’am, especially if the dynamic is a woman and a man. A woman’s safety should always be her number one priority.

Chemistry is a huge factor too. If a woman doesn’t feel chemistry with you, all the compliments, flirty banter and suggestive innuendos are wasted on her. That chemistry, that pull to jump on you has to be there, but if it is then you’re in for fireworks!

So, there you have it, your complimentary guide, and top tips on pleasing a woman in bed. To summarise:

  • Take your time, don’t rush in, enjoy the moment.
  • Foreplay is everything, especially if she doesn’t orgasm from penetrative sex, the more the better.
  • Pay special attention to erogenous zones outside of the breasts and between the legs.
  • Listen to her wants and needs, communication is key. Look out for unspoken signals and react to them.
  • Get consent, this can be verbal or non-verbal, if she seems uncomfortable make sure she is ok and stop if she asks you too.
  • Add sex toys to the mix as, for most women, clitoral action is going to get them there.