What is foreplay? Well, if you’re not entirely sure of the answer to that question, we’ve got news for you – sex is about to get A LOT better! For many of us, time and simple convenience mean that sex can be very much an ‘in-and-out’ thing. But we want to tell you that it can be so much more! With a little time invested in foreplay, you could find your sex life taking several steps to new levels of pleasure!
At Ann Summers, we’re all about encouraging you to explore your body and find new ways to experience pleasure through sex, from how to use lube to the basics of female masturbation – and foreplay is a huge part of this! Here are some of our top tips on how to have great foreplay.
Ok, we know what you’re thinking, “is foreplay really that important, or is it just delaying us getting down to the real business?”. Well, the simple answer to that question is that foreplay is very important! VERY! To put it into an everyday metaphor, would you exercise without doing a proper warm up first?
Just like a warm-up, foreplay helps get your body and mind in the right place before getting started. It’s all about preparing both of you for what’s to come (pun intended!). It should get you both into the right mindset and increase intimacy gradually.
Sure, a heat-of-the-moment, wild quickie can be amazing, but does it really fulfil all of our sexual needs? Not really. As we know, there’s much more to sex than a simple ‘in and out’ (sorry, there really is no better way to put that). Truly experiencing great pleasure during sex is about an emotional and physical connection – that’s where foreplay comes in.
For men, having an erection and a desire to have sex is enough to get them going. However, for women, we need much more than the urge to get things started. For women, the process of preparing our body and, just as importantly, our mind for sex is way different. Once the mind is fully in the mood for sex, our body will follow suit, naturally lubricating the vagina for comfortable and great feeling penetrative sex.
When it comes to how to have great foreplay, there’s no right or wrong answer. It’s the perfect time to explore each other’s body and learn what really turns you on, what you do like and what you’re not so keen on. Here are a few foreplay tips to try and see how it goes:
Get Started Early
Foreplay doesn’t have to start from the moment you get into bed together. Oh no, foreplay can start long before you’re even in the same building as your partner. The longer the build-up the better when it comes to sex! Try a little phone sex or sexting during the day, maybe send a couple of cheeky pictures (only if you 100% trust your partner!) and build that tension – by the time you’re together you won’t be able to resist each other! If you’re not sure where to start, our Phone Sex, Facetime Sex and Sexting Tips guide will help you along the way.
Kissing Foreplay is Real!
To some people, kissing can feel a little like a pedestrian act that’s not really adding much. If that’s the case, we want to change that ASAP! Passionate kissing is another way to build the tension slowly. Try keeping your clothes on and hands away from those sexual areas for a while, letting the passion simmer between you. When you’re ready to move on, try some of the areas in our Erogenous Zones for Men and Women guide, gently kissing around their body.
Get Extra Stimulated
Sexual stimulants include rubs, gels, licks and lubes that can add extra sensations to foreplay. Heating and cooling lube can be applied to the penis, clitoris or nipples for a bit of temperature play, or fragranced oils can be used as part of a sensual massage. Experiment and find new ways to heighten your pleasure.
Let the Games Begin!
Sex games can be a great addition to foreplay, making things feel a lot more relaxed and taking the pressure off a little. From board games to position cards, a sex game can help lead you to trying completely new things that you might not have thought about… or been sure about suggesting before!
Oral Sex and Foreplay
These two things go together perfectly! Oral sex is often the only thing we think of when considering foreplay, and whilst it isn’t the be-all-and-end-all, it’s certainly one of the main events! Blowjobs and cunnilingus can help get you both primed and ready for penetrative sex. Want to up your oral game? Our Beginners Guide to Blowjobs and How to Go Down on a Woman guides will help you build out that toolbox!
Don’t Forget the Anal
Even if you’re not planning on having penetrative anal sex, you can still involve anal in your foreplay. There are all kinds of nerve-endings in the anus, and our What is Rimming? guide should help you figure out how to give and receive awesome anal pleasure. If your partner is male, the prostate (or P-spot) can take an eventual orgasm to new levels of intense pleasure! Find out Where is the Male G-Spot? in our guide.
Make Her Climax!
The vagina is literally teeming with amazing nerve-endings, all ready to be delighted. Why not get started during foreplay? As a partner, it can take some of the pressure off penetrative sex if you know they’ve climaxed beforehand. More importantly, getting those nerve-endings fired up nice and early means more pleasure for your partner.
Bring Out the Toys
Sex toys are designed to help you achieve different and targeted pleasure during sex, so get them involved in your foreplay! From a bullet vibrator for targeted pleasure to nipples, your clitoris or any erogenous zone, to anal toys such as anal beads and butt plugs, find the toys that work for your foreplay.
There’s really no right or wrong answer to how long foreplay should last. When it comes to tantric sex, it can last for hours and hours on end, for others, it may be a lot less. The most important thing is to make sure you don’t rush foreplay. If you’re rushing along to get to penetration, you’re missing out on lots of important time to build up that tension and excitement. Plus, it’ll be a major turn off for your partner!
Foreplay is sometimes an underrated hero. There can be a tendency to rush through it to get to what we perceive to be the most pleasurable and exciting part of sex, but without foreplay, you’ll risk never getting to the orgasmic heights that you really can from sex. So, take your time, experiment and make that foreplay count!
Slow things down and introduce some Tantric Massage to your sexual repertoire. Learn how to set the scene, get started, and how to turn up the heat.
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