The Stages of a Relationship: What is the Honeymoon Phase?

Ahh the honeymoon period. The time in a relationship where they can do no wrong. Toilet seat left up? No drama. Bolognaise remnants around her mouth after dinner? She’s so damn cute! Snoring? Well, why else were earplugs invented?

During the honeymoon period, you look upon all their little quirks as being cute, playful, or endearing. Of all the relationship stages, this is undoubtedly the most tolerant.

What is the Honeymoon Phase?

The honeymoon phase of a relationship is the part where you’re just getting to know each other. It’s early days and all you know right now is you have a connection to this person that gives you butterflies in your stomach every time you get a message from them, or you see their name appear when your phone rings. You might have given them a cute name on your phone or even put a little heart emoji next to their name. Yep, been there, done that! Have you assigned your fave photo of them to their contact card yet though? That’s when you know you’re smitten.

You probably wear your sexiest lingerie every time they come over to watch a movie and you soak up everything they tell you about themselves because it means so much. During the honeymoon phase, you’re also at risk of ignoring red flags and signs that this person mightn’t be good for you because all that oxytocin cursing through your veins feels SO. DAMN. GOOD.

How Long Does the Honeymoon Phase Last?

It lasts until you realise they’re not all that. Only kidding! Well, kinda.

The honeymoon phase is said to last anywhere from about 2 months to 2 years. It depends on a few factors such as:

How the relationship starts

If your relationship starts off as a secret, for example, you may have been together under the radar for a year meaning a lot of those ‘got to have you now’ feelings have already been experienced. When you’re free to be openly together you might feel you know each other well enough to move in together or spend more time together than you would at the start of a new relationship, so you don’t necessarily do the ‘dating’ thing. As you have gotten to know this person already, you’re less inclined to bite your tongue or tolerate things that frustrate you whereas you would at the beginning of a relationship that started in a more conventional way. The honeymoon period will probably end fairly quickly once you’re no longer hiding your feelings for each other, and you have to hope you’re compatible when you begin to get to know each other on a deeper level.

Lifestyle factors

How much time you spend together greatly affects how long the honeymoon period lasts. If you have a job that sees you working out of town a lot or you work shifts which prevent you from seeing your new squeeze as often as you’d like, the honeymoon period will probably last a lot longer. Which, let’s be honest, isn’t a bad thing!

Children from a previous relationship

If you have a child or children from a previous relationship, it’s only right that their needs come first. You’re probably excited for them to meet the special new person in your life, but also aware of their emotional needs and the need to make sure this person is here for the long haul before you introduce them. So, this might mean not seeing your new favourite person as often as you’d like. Separating your time with your children from your time with your boo means the honeymoon period lasts a bit longer because you can’t see them as often. But there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s very lovely to have something that’s all yours for a little while before you integrate families, so just enjoy it.

The intensity of your feelings

If you find you fall in love easily and often, and the feelings you experience are always incredibly strong, the honeymoon period might not last long. The reason is, those who fall hard and fast often ignore red flags and soon discover the person they thought they were falling for isn’t all that. And they move on to the next one. Try to keep a level head in the honeymoon phase. Don’t ignore those red flags because you’ll regret it later!


In the honeymoon phase you focus on all the gorgeous, perfect things they do, and sexual chemistry is guiding you on your journey to L town. You both put your best foot forward every day and just thinking about them when they’re not there has you reaching for your vibrator. For some people though, after those ‘I want to rip your clothes off’ feelings subside, they come to realise the only thing they had in common was a mutual interest in each other’s genitals. Whilst it’s very important to still fancy them and have ‘phwoar’ moments, after the honeymoon period, the things that’ll keep you together long-term are love, trust, respect, honesty and having things in common.

Is the Honeymoon Phase Real Love?

The short answer is no. Though it might feel like it, what you’re experiencing is a surge in hormones that are designed to make us want to have sex. It’s evolutionary, it’s how the human race grew when we were living in caves. We’re not Neanderthals anymore, but our bodies certainly act like we are when we see someone we fancy.

Am I Falling Out of Love, or Is the Honeymoon Phase Over?

It’s been a year or two. The butterflies in your stomach have gone into hibernation. The couple’s sex toys you bought to experiment with are gathering dust under the bed and the crotchless knickers are hidden in the drawer somewhere underneath your everyday lingerie (though, if you bought it from Ann Summers we guarantee you still look and feel damn sexy). You reminisce about the days of heart-pounding, slightly nauseous, groin-aching lust. But before you question whether you’re losing feelings for them, consider this: You might not be falling out of love, you might just be falling into a different stage of love.

How Do You Know When the Honeymoon Phase is Over?

You’re still together, still happy, but something has shifted. The days of jumping on each other the second you walk through the door have been replaced by long conversations about what happened at work, or which bills are coming out that week. Declarations of love via text are now simple requests to grab milk on the way home. The bed has become a place to spend time sleeping more so than anything else and it feels like it’s been an age since you experienced a carpet burn (good riddance we say, they are painful!).

By this point, they’ve probably been around for many of your least attractive bodily functions, seen you with dribble remnants on your mouth after a heavy sleep and gotten a whiff of your morning breath, and you theirs. But you’re still together, still going strong.

They’re the person you want when the mood strikes and when you enter a room together, you’re proud to have them with you. You like their company; they make you feel safe and content, and you see a future with them. Sure, you don’t drool over their photos anymore, but that’s because you see them on a deeper level.

You still find them irresistible when they’re all dressed up and you get the right reaction from them when you wear a sexy outfit or turn your game on. They can probably still give you that groin-aching feeling with a naughty comment or a sensual wink across the room.

The honeymoon period might be over, but the next part is the best, trust us.

Love, AS X