How to Masturbate: The Women’s Guide to Solo Play

Do women masturbate? Of course we do! In recent years, female masturbation has moved into the forefront of our conversations, no longer a subject consigned to the privacy of our own bedrooms. And why not? For us women, masturbation is a perfectly normal and seriously fun activity, helping us learn more about our bodies and improve our wellbeing in the process.

It’s a common fact that, not only is it a great way to release sexual tension and be more in tune with your body, but masturbating is also a stress reliver that can ultimately boost your mood.

Time to embrace it, wouldn’t you agree? Here’s our guide to female masturbation.

What is Masturbation?

First things first, masturbation can be many different things. We might all think that the main aim is to self-pleasure to the point of climax, but masturbation can be totally different to different people. As women, we’re lucky to have several erogenous zones and ways to make ourselves feel good.

Masturbation Techniques for Women

As we all should know, our bodies are a treasure trove of potentially amazing feelings –we just need to know where to look! Here are a few techniques to get you started when look for those sweet spots… happy hunting!

Clitoral Stimulation

Clitoral masturbation is possibly the first thing you think of when masturbation springs to mind – and that’s because many women require clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm. There are so many ways to stimulate the clitoris and everyone is completely different when it comes to what works for them. That means there’s no right or wrong way to do it, it’s all down to figuring out what works for you and what feels good… but that’s half the fun, right?

How to Masturbate: Stimulating the Clitoris

Ok, so we just said there’s no ‘right’ way to do it and that still stands. However, here are a few tips you might want to try to get you started…

Start by indirectly rubbing around the clitoral area in circular motions, building up the pressure and speed slowly as the pleasure intensifies. Teasing your body is so important - the longer you deny yourself direct stimulation, the more mind-blowing it will feel when you finally touch your clit.

When you simply can’t take any more, spread your lips apart with two fingers so your clit is exposed. Take your finger from your other hand and begin by stroking your clit up and down slowly. And remember to play with positions to find what works best for you. Some women adore lightly stroking the sides of the clit, others prefer directly rubbing the tip with one or two fingers in circular motions.

One thing’s certain: as you’re getting closer to climaxing, you’ll need to increase the speed. Need a little help? Consider introducing a bullet vibrator into the mix. Our bullets are ideal for beginners. Why? Because the small size makes them a targeting tool for the clit. You can find out more about these amazing toys in our How to Use a Bullet Vibrator guide.

Suggested Position: The Fumbling Stranger

This position is great for access to the clitoris and all the pleasure that comes with it. Work up your vagina from bottom to top, before landing on the clitoris. Mix things up by experimenting with gentle upwards movements.


Hitting the G Spot

Never had a G-spot orgasm? Don’t worry – we’re here to explore! Masturbation is the perfect time to try and find that sweet spot, meaning you’ll be able to provide your partner with a little more guidance when it comes to sex. G-spot stimulation might require some assistance from a dildo or vibrator, or fingers might do the job perfectly. Once again, it’s up to you!

How to Masturbate: Finding the G-Spot

Use both your hands and begin the quest for the G-spot. It can be tricky to find, so don’t feel disheartened if you can’t hit the right spot at the start. If you need pointing in the right direction, it’s located on the front wall of the vagina, one to two inches inside.

The G-spot is made of tissue that swells when it becomes aroused, so get yourself in the mood first by exploring other areas of the body – both because it’s fun but it’ll also make finding it easier. Insert one or more fingers, depending on comfort and curl your fingers towards your belly button. You’re looking for a walnut-sized area of tissue that is different in texture to the tissue around it – and lube can help you feel that difference. Once you’ve found it, use those fingers in a ‘come hither’ movement, increasing the pressure to your liking. And if you fancy a helping hand, many of our dildos and vibrators are shaped to hit this spot.

Want to double the pleasure? Adding some clitoral stimulation alongside G-spot penetration might just push you completely over the edge. Trust us; dual-stimulation is often the secret to achieving out-of-this world blended orgasms. Need a helping hand? Our selection of Rampant Rabbits should do the trick.

Suggested Position: The Sleep Away Camp

This position has you sat slightly elevated, with either a pillow or on the floor with your back against the bed or sofa. From this position you’ll be able to reach around and use your fingers or a toy to penetrate and seek out that G-spot.


Anal Play

Anal play isn’t just for sex, it can be a great added sensation when masturbating and a handy way to start exploring all things anal within your own limits. It can be a little tricky to reach round that way, so consider involving a beginner’s toy in your solo anal play. Our Beginners Guide to Anal Toys will give you some pointers.

If you and a partner have been discussing anal, or you’ve just always been curious, playing solo will allow you to take things at your own pace and start to figure out what you really like. Just make sure you use plenty of lube and stop if you feel any sort of pain. Lube isn’t just reserved for sex and can be your best friend here!

How to Masturbate: Anal Play

Anal play is all about relaxation, so make sure you’re sitting comfortably. Lying on your back with a pillow under your hips is a great place to start. Make sure you liberally apply plenty of lube before you start playing. It’s a good idea to get used to the sensations by rubbing your finger around the anal area, before gently slipping one inside.

Once you build your confidence, you can add another finger, and another, and… you get the idea. Toys such as butt plugs or anal beads can be great to bring into your play at this point. Just remember to start off small and apply that lube liberally!

Suggested Position: The Long Way Around

This position sees you laying on your front, able to reach around for anal play. In order to make it as comfortable as possible, you might consider elevating your bum, either by putting a pillow underneath your hips or moving onto your knees slightly.


Don’t Forget Those Nipples

The nipples are an area full of nerve endings and can heighten pleasure to new levels. When you’re looking to achieve a blended orgasm, playing with your nipples is a must. The sensations from your nipples travel to the same areas of your brain as sensations from your vagina and clitoris – so it’s all linked.

How to Masturbate: Nipple Play

Experiment with different technique and varying amounts of pressure here – mixing it up is key. From a firm tweak to a light stroke, keep your body guessing and those sensations will keep your toes curling. You can also consider warming or cooling lubes for use here to add another element.

If you really want to step it up, consider using nipple clamps or a feather tickler. These types of toys are often enjoyed as part of sex, but masturbation offers the perfect opportunity to test them out and see how you like them.

Suggested Position: Room with a View

Changing things up and getting on your knees makes access to your nipples nice and easy with this position. Whilst one hand can provide clitoral or G-spot stimulation, the other is free for nipple play that’ll elevate things to a whole new level.

A Little Extra Goes a Long Way…

Get Moving

Masturbation can turn into a real work out, so don’t feel like you have to sit still either. Try raising your pelvis, pressing your thighs together or even rocking back and forth. Get creative and try experimenting with speed, angle and pressure - there are so many techniques and positions to try. Fingers and toys are great ways to delight those nerve-endings, but they’re not the only options. Try indirect contact, such as grinding against a surface, leaving your hands free.

Lube Up

Lubricant isn’t designed just to combat dryness down there or for anal play. It’s a massively underrated product that can literally heat up any solo session. So, extra lubrication is never a bad thing. In fact, it can increase your comfort, libido and pleasure.

Take a pea-sized amount of one of our lubes, perhaps a stimulating or warming lube to heighten sensitivity, and slowly massage it on your clit and labia. The sensations will spread throughout your body and add an extra, satisfying tingle.

Mix It Up

When we put your questions about orgasms to our sex expert, Jodie Slee, one of the common themes was around whether masturbating the same way every time is a problem. Whilst it isn’t a problem if you’re happy with it, Jodie recommends mixing it up: “mix things up to build up the number of ways you can please yourself. Being patient and enjoying it is the key – the orgasm doesn’t have to be the only goal!” You can read all the questions and answers here.

Remember, you don’t have to orgasm every single time. Masturbation in its entirety is supposed to be an incredible experience. It’s not all about that explosive ending! Just focus on taking that time to yourself to relax and enjoy your own body.