How To Use Lube

What is an Orgasm?

Definition: Rhythmic muscular contractions in the pelvic region at a speed of around 0.8 per second.

Orgasm, sexual climax, cumming, the ‘big O’… call it what you want, the female orgasm is one of life’s simple pleasures.

The health benefits of a great orgasm are well known. But hey, even if they were bad for us, they’d still be good, right?

How to Orgasm

When Harry met Sally scene

One of the many great things about being a woman is that there are plenty of ways we can enjoy an orgasm. Masturbation and sex with a partner are the ones you already know about but are there other ways? We talked to a registered sex and relationship therapist who enlightened us about some orgasms you may never have known existed.

The most important thing to remember here is that pleasure is the goal.

It’s not a race to tick them all off the list, but we can have a lot of fun trying them out. Remember, there are some advanced techniques here – they might not all be for you but that’s fine. Experimentation helps us find what we like and what we don’t. Plus, if you find something you like here, practice makes perfect!

What does an Orgasm feel like?

What does an orgasm feel like?

Each woman experiences an orgasm differently, and each woman can have many different types of orgasm, so there is no one definitive answer to this question.

For most of us, it’s characterised by sexual arousal. A build up of pressure that eventually – and often with the help of a ‘tipping point’ – releases along with muscle contractions in our pelvic region. Some of us find our body shaking, our skin feeling sensitive and, yes, we often wake up the neighbours.

After an orgasm we can also enjoy the burst of hormones released by the climax. Oxytocin (known as the ‘love hormone’) and Endorphins (they’re the ones that give you a big ‘high’) can combine to create a euphoric feeling that, if we could bottle it, could probably instigate world peace.

Types of Orgasms

To find out more, we talked to Jodie Slee, a sex and relationship therapist from Sensate Therapy, about the different types of orgasms and how they can be achieved:

1. Clitoral Orgasm

Clitoral Stim

“The surprising thing about the clitoris is that only a small part of it is visible (called the glans). The much larger part is intertwined in the whole vulva region and can be stimulated vaginally and, some say, anally too. So, more orgasms are technically ‘clitoral orgasms’ than you might have thought.”

Some women prefer direct clitoral stimulation whereas, for others, touching 8,000 nerve endings at once can be too much. Try out different things and see what works for you.

The clitoris is – not surprisingly – very well catered-for when it comes to sex toys and accessories. Clit Stims, Rampant Rabbits, Vibrating Cock Rings and Couples Rings all hit the right spot, so there are plenty of options when finding your favourite.

2. G-spot Orgasm

G-spot Vibe

“This somewhat mysterious ‘spot’ is a collection of cells found on the front wall of the vagina and is linked with female ejaculation. Many sex toys nowadays are curved towards that spot to make the most of this”

Lots of women say that, once you’ve answered that age-old question ‘where is the G-Spot’, using your finger in a ‘come hither’ motion is the way to go. Add in some clitoral stimulation and you can thank us later…

G-Spot vibrators come in all shapes and sizes – some aim to apply pressure to the G-Spot, others use thrusting actions to mimic what your fingers can do, and many also have clit stims built in. Love eggs can sit against your G-spot and even be controlled by your partner for a seriously cheeky night out.

3. Blended Orgasm

Rampant Rabbit

A blended orgasm means the stimulation of more than one erogenous zone for a more powerful orgasm, generally involving the clitoris. Most of us have a ‘tipping point’ that takes us from arousal to orgasm, meaning we introduce another area to the mix – this could be nipple stimulation, anal stimulation… you’re only limited by the number of hands (or toys) at your disposal!”

Chances are, if more than one erogenous zone was involved, you’ve had a blended orgasm before. But now you know what they are, what else could you involve? There’s no need to stop at two areas – it really is a case of the more the merrier!

The most famous sex toy that hits two spots at once is, of course, the Rampant Rabbit. Offering G-Spot and Clitoral stimulation, there’s a reason that 2 million of them are sold every year. After that, any of our sex toys can help you turn things up – a butt plug, nipple clamps and cooling or tingling lubes can all help you discover new ways to climax.

4. Anal Orgasm

Butt Plugs

“The anus is flooded with nerve endings and the anal nerve moves through the same nerve that serves the clitoris. Further up into the rectum, stimulation will be picked up by the pelvic nerve, which is the nerve that responds to stimulation of the vagina and cervix.”

The key to having an anal orgasm is to start slowly. What you or your partner might have seen in porn does not show the reality. Yes, it can be lots of fun, and is often described as a really intense orgasm – but don’t rush in. Make sure you’re relaxed and use plenty of lube on a small butt plug, a finger or a small dildo. If you’re with a partner, keeping communication open is really important, and if an anal orgasm isn’t quite happening, stimulating the clitoris is likely to help out.

5.A-Spot Orgasm

Shard Sex Position

“The A-Spot is a collection of cells called the Anterior Fornix, located a few inches above the G-Spot, requiring a very large penis (or large dildo) to reach it. The cervix can block the A-spot, which can make it difficult to find – but it is worth it. You need to go deep!”

The key here is reaching the spot, so go as deep as you can (without hurting yourself obviously!). If you have a partner with a very large penis, get in a position that allows you to take as much of it in as possible while he’s facing you, such as the Shard, allowing the curve to hit the front wall of your vagina.

If you don’t happen to have a partner with a large penis, fear not – we can help! Try a large dildo (don’t forget the lube) and enjoy…

6. Nipple Orgasm

Nipple Clamps

“Nipples have plenty of nerve endings too, sensations from the nipples travel to the same areas of the brain that sensations from the vagina, clitoris and cervix do, meaning some women can have orgasms from nipple stimulation alone.”

Chances are you already know how to caress your own nipples, but there are ways to turn this up and give nipple orgasms a try. Lubes and licks have a lot to offer here, and don’t forget there are tingling lubes, warming lubes, massage lubes – the world is your oyster…

Don’t forget nipple clamps and feather ticklers too. The mixture of different sensations could make your toes curl.

7. Coregasm

Pilates- Core Excercise

“This type of orgasm is rumoured to come from exercise like Pilates, or activities that involve squeezing the thighs together. I suspect friction from repeated movements in fitted gym wear can also play a part!”

A Coregasm, or ‘Exercise-induced Orgasm’ is a bit of a mystery, and a lot of the time seems to be unplanned. Alfred Kinsey wrote about it as early as 1953, but the verdict is still out, scientifically speaking.

That said, if you do find your mind drifting towards sexy thoughts while running at the gym or engaging your core during a good Pilates session, there’s no harm in that. Make sure you really enjoy that steamy shower afterwards!

8. Fantasy Orgasm or 'Mindgasm'

Mindgasm

“The idea here is that you can climax without any physical stimulation, just using your thoughts to take you all the way. Some lucky women can also orgasm in their sleep.”

Sometimes called a ‘Think Off’, this sounds like a lot of fun even if you decide to get your hands or toys involved further down the line. Imagining your favourite fantasies, or memories of the best sex you ever had, tensing your pelvic floor muscles (imagine you’re trying to stop peeing) over and over… doesn’t sound like a bad way to pass some time does it?

How to Fake an Orgasm

In short – don’t!

It benefits no-one! Not you (you didn’t cum, did you?), and not your partner. How to make a woman orgasm is more complex than some people realise and there’s nothing wrong with giving some direction on what you want. By being honest, you’re helping your partner to be a better lover and getting better sex yourself into the deal.

It’s the 21st century and we can speak up about what we want from sex. If a guy has a problem with that, he’s not the right guy.