The days of keeping your sex toys hidden like dirty secrets in the bottom of your sock drawer are over. Being proud to pursue different ways of heightening pleasure in the bedroom is a conversation we’re continuing to try and open, and sex toys are a big part of that.
Sex toys might often be associated with solo pleasure, but they can also take your sex life to new levels with a partner. Navigating this ground and experimenting with couple’s sex toys can be difficult, here’s our guide to bringing toys into your sex life.
First things first, you know you like the idea of using toys, and you know you want to start using them with a partner, but how on earth do you actually start that conversation?
We've said it before and we'll say it again; communication is essential in every relationship, especially when it comes to sex. Chatting about what you like and what you don't like, what you're curious about and what really turns you on is not only healthy for you both, but it can be a real libido boost to get you in the mood.
Talking about what we want in bed is deeply personal and the fear of rejection can make it difficult to bring up. Don’t worry though, having these conversations is important and you might just find the response you receive surprises you… in a good way.
Whether you've got something hidden away that you've been too nervous to bring out of the drawer, or you want to get your partner on board before picking out something you’ll both enjoy, taking that first step can feel big. But it shouldn't be.
If you've been together for a while, having an honest conversation about trying something new might be something you both feel more comfortable with. Relationships are a team effort - whether you're picking out kitchen tiles or new toys for the bedroom - just discuss it together and hear each other out. Encourage your partner when they’ve done something you like and discuss how you could involve a toy in this.
The simple answer? Lots! This is important to remember when you’re considering bringing up the subject of sex toys with a partner. It’s perfectly normal, lots of people do it and, most importantly, those people do it because they love it!
Introducing sex toys into your relationship doesn’t mean that anything is missing, that your partner is trying to replace you, or that they're trying to fix something that doesn't work. Sex toys should add to and enhance your sexual experiences in ways that aren't humanly possible. We guarantee that there will be nothing wrong with either of you – but, unfortunately, no human can actually vibrate!
However you want to use them, it's all about exploring your sexuality together and discovering new sensations. You will become a lot closer for it, so don't worry about raising the question or feeling uncomfortable, you’re in it together after all.
There are several options available and choosing the right one all depends on what you’re hoping to bring to the bedroom. For beginners, the most popular choice is often something small, such as a bullet vibrator, which provides the ideal way to introduce sex toys without making anyone feel intimidated. For those who have a little more experience, something like a vibrating cock ring could do the trick – and if you’re both ready to really push the boundaries, a strap-on could bring some exciting role-reversal into your bedroom.
It’s all about finding what works for you as a couple. Part of your conversation should be what you’d like to try, any fantasies you have and where you’d draw the line. Setting out these expectations and limits early on will help you introduce toys in the best possible way and avoid disappointment
From bullets to remote-control toys, there are numerous options to choose from when bringing a vibrator into couples play. Consider what you’re planning to use it for before selecting the vibrator you want to try.
A pocket-sized but powerful bullet vibrator can add some seriously strong sensations either during foreplay or penetration. It’s small enough to not feel intimidating but, applied to the nipples, clitoris or penis can give you a seriously good buzz.
Vibrating cock rings are fun for both of you during sex. Designed to fit around the base of his penis, they’ll send waves of vibrating pleasure out during sex that you can both feel and enjoy. What’s more, they’ll also help keep him harder for longer, meaning the fun can keep on going.
Why keep it in the bedroom? A remote-control toy, such as the Remote Controlled Rabbit Egg, can be placed internally before you head out for the night. Just hand him the remote and let him drive you wild.
Anal play is less of a taboo now than ever and investing in anal sex toys to help explore the hidden depths of anal pleasure is a great option for couples.
We recommend that you start small here – there’s no point diving in at the deep end otherwise you might find yourself put off anal toys for life! From complete beginners to anal aficionados, there are dozens of different anal toys to choose from.
For beginners, it’s best to start slowly and use plenty of lube. Using a butt plug can be a great way to get started: a Silicone Anal Training Kit will allow you to start small and progress through to larger toys.
Once you and your partner are comfortable with anal play, you can graduate on to bigger and more experimental things. Pegging is a sex trend that everyone seems to be getting into these days, so if role reversal is your thing, why not give a strap-on a try?
If your partner is struggling for confidence in the bedroom, a little support can go a long way. Find out how with our guide.
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