HOW LISTENING TO A PODCAST COULD LEAD TO A BETTER SEX LIFE

Some of us are lucky enough to have a partner who makes sex chats easy or a group of friends where asking for advice feels natural. But that’s not the case for everyone – in fact, it’s pretty common to occasionally feel bewildered, or even a little sheepish, about certain aspects of sex. Luckily, over the past couple of years, an abundance of new podcasts aiming to tackle embarrassment around sex and relationships has emerged. 

They range from the silly to the serious, with hosts including trained therapists, sex educators and the simply curious. With your headphones on, you can feel part of their inclusive chats – and often learn stuff that our school sex education swerves.

Anouszka Tate and Frankie Wells host Project Pleasure. Their aim is ‘putting the pleasure back into safe sex and healthy relationships’. The pair were producing a relationships show on national radio when they spotted a pattern. ‘No matter their age, people felt uncomfortable asking questions about sex,’ says Wells.

They started noticing worrying news stories about consent and period-shaming, and a disparity in the way male and female friends talked about sex. The idea for a podcast was born. ‘We momentarily wondered why we should be the ones to lend our voices to sex education in the UK, but it’s as simple as “because we feel comfortable talking about this stuff”,’ says Tate. ‘We’ve learnt that’s rare, so with that privilege comes a sense of duty to make others feel as safe as we do.’

YouTuber and author Hannah Witton had a similar motivation starting podcast Doing It!. She’d written a book of the same name, covering sexting, virginity, consent and more, but wanted to explore further topics and ‘break down taboos and stigma around sex’. The intimacy of podcasts also felt like the perfect medium: ‘The nature of podcasts allows people to privately listen on their own terms. No one has any clue what you have playing in your headphones!’

Tate agrees: ‘It’s definitely the intimacy of audio that I love the most. I totally get that a lot of people don’t feel comfortable talking about some of the topics we tackle just yet, but with a podcast you can be introduced to new ideas, mull them over, learn a new language to explore your own experiences, then slowly start to engage in those conversations in real life when you’re ready.’

Both podcasts take on false beliefs about sex, relationships and our bodies, while passing the mic to people with different experiences to share their perspectives. Tate and Wells have found many topics where misinformation is rife. They both realised their own education around female pleasure, anatomy and expectations of sex were lacking. ‘I was never told about female pleasure, but I was taught about male pleasure,’ says Wells. 

Tate adds: ‘It’s fascinating – and petrifying – how many young girls and women we speak to don’t realise sex should be actively pleasurable for them, that their bodies are capable of experiencing earth-shattering sensations.’

Some topics, such as sexual assault, have been harder to talk about than others, but positive responses from listeners have let the hosts know that their podcasts are making a difference. ‘My favourite episode is probably “Desire and Libido” from series two,’ says Tate. ‘The information from our guests blew people’s minds. Listeners slid into our DMs to tell us they had jotted down timecodes of bits they wanted their partner to listen to so they could talk about their own relationships.’

With nearly one in five 15- to 24-year-olds now listening to podcasts weekly, there is huge scope to change the way we talk about sex and relationships for the better. ‘I hope that if people listen to the podcast, they get used to hearing these kinds of conversations, so having them with your own friends or family feels less weird,’ says Witton.

‘We need to normalise the way we talk about women’s bodies,’ says Wells. ‘We need to get the right information, and once you just start talking about it, it becomes easier and easier – I promise!’

7 sexy podcasts:

Project Pleasure

Join Anouszka and Frankie for Roundhouse Radio’s effort to fill in all the gaps in our woeful British sex education. They delve into period sex, body image, sexting, masturbation and more, bringing in experts to answer questions in detail, while offering up personal tales listeners can relate to.

The Meg-John and Justin Podcast

Academic Meg-John and therapist Justin team up for this informative and inclusive podcast, giving intersectional perspectives on sex, desire and relationships. Check out their episodes on public displays of affection, when your sex drive doesn’t match your partner’s, consent, gender and more.

Brown Girls Do It Too

This new series from the BBC sees hosts Roya, Rubina and Poppy discuss sex from a British-Asian perspective. Listen in on their frank chats about first-time sex, masturbation, orgasms and the impact of porn on our sexual expectations.

Sexpots

Ever wanted to listen in on a group of friends having a frank sex chat? Three sex bloggers have teamed up to bring you just that. Their casual style offers an accessible and honest look at their own sexual encounters, while answering the occasional listener question.

Doing It! With Hannah Witton

YouTuber and author Hannah tackles issues such as chronic illness and sex, polyamory and more. A host of insightful guests, including activist Scarlett Curtis and anti-FGM campaigner Nimco Ali, join her each episode to share their stories. 

Hot Brain

Sex educator Zoë Ligon (known to Instagram fans as @thongria) is frank and funny on everything sex and relationships-related. She’s teamed up with her partner, Mark, for podcast Hot Brain, where they discuss sex acts, intimacy, toys, communication and everything in between, taking questions from listeners at the end of each episode.

Unexpected Fluids

Another one from the BBC, this hilarious show unites sex educator Alix Fox and vlogger Riyadh Khalaf as they take on the most awkward and messy bits of sex, reassuring us that it happens to everyone. Enjoy listener contributions and guests sharing sexual moments they’ll never forget.