Drag, Therapy and Being Queer by Crystal
Crystal and the Race to Queer Acceptance Genderf*ck Drag: Crystal’s Story

My name is Crystal - I’m a drag artist originally from Canada now based in London. My approach to drag is definitely a bit genderf*ck - I try and subvert people’s expectations of what a “man” or “woman” looks like. My inspiration comes from 90s comic books, femme fatales, sci-fi fantasy books and punk and rock icons like Patti Smith, Siouxsie Sioux, Pat Benatar and Debbie Harry. Put all that in a blender, add some chest hair and a pound of makeup, and you’ve got Crystal!

To me queer is a wonderful umbrella term that encompasses unlimited possibilities. When I came out in my late teens, I identified as gay - that was the only real option available to me at the time and seemed to fit best. What I like about queer is that it has less strict limitations - and allows your sexuality to be more fluid, expansive and changeable. Even if I spend the rest of my life with the same man (I’m married!), I don’t think people ever stop changing.

Well, I think anyone under the LGBTQ+ umbrella has at one point had to reckon with their validity and self-worth. Certainly for me, I bottled up my sexuality for a long time during my teenage years. I was in full denial of my desires. I think for that reason, myself (and many other people with similar backgrounds to me) had a bit of a delayed sexual maturity. This can also mean that things go from 0 to 100 very quickly when you come out and discover sex. It’s not necessarily the healthiest way to discover your sexuality and to discover pleasure.

THERAPY. No but really, I think it is the life’s work of many queer people to unshackle themselves from shame and allow themselves self-love, unapologetically. Whether you tackle this through therapy, mindfulness, or through other tools, allowing yourself unconditional self-love is the key to sex positivity, and to a general fulfilment!

Absolutely not - certainly sex education in schools needs a massive overhaul. When I was in school in Canada (and I know it was the same in the UK under Section 28), queer sex was not mentioned. Sex education focused solely on avoiding pregnancy and STIs in heterosexual sex, so many queer people had to stumble around in the dark trying to figure out how to be safe, and how it all works. It’s a real shame. I’d also love to see a wider array of pornography that shows real-life sex - I think a lot of queer kids learn about sex through porn and it’s not realistic or always healthy.

Be honest with your partners about what you’re curious about and take it slow! And if you can’t be honest, find a partner you can be honest with. You deserve pleasure!