How to Get Over a Breakup

Breaking up is hard to do. It’s one of life's most challenging experiences when you’re spinning all the plates of life. The pain of heartbreak can be overwhelming, leaving you feeling lost and unsure of how to move forward. Getting through a break-up can feel like you’re stuck firmly in hell when you’re missing someone so much it hurts. And while feeling heartbroken is a natural human experience we all go through; we know how much it sucks but trust us, you won’t feel down forever. With self-compassion and a commitment to personal growth, it’s possible to heal and emerge even stronger than before and live your best life. Let us help you navigate the journey of getting over heartbreak and rediscovering your best self. But where do you start? How do you get over a someone you still love? However the relationship ended, here is some advice on how to get over heartbreak, and tips that will help you get better, not bitter.

Why does heartbreak hurt so much?

Breakups can be incredibly painful, and it's not just because of the emotional toll they take on us. There’s actual science behind why breakups hurt so much. When we fall in love, our brains release a powerful cocktail of chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin, which create those warm and fuzzy feelings of happiness and attachment. So, when a breakup occurs, the brain experiences a sudden withdrawal of those feel-good chemicals, leading to a range of emotional and physical symptoms. The pain you feel is very real, as studies have shown that the brain processes heartbreak in a similar way to physical pain.

How can you mend a broken heart?

  1. Feel your feelings:

    2. Heartbreak is a deeply emotional experience, and it's crucial to allow yourself to fully feel and process those emotions. Give yourself permission to grieve, cry, and be angry. By acknowlpostnut-clarity and embracing your emotions, you are giving yourself the space needed for healing.

  2. Seek support:

    3. The support and understanding of your friends and family is invaluable during this challenging time. Lean on them for love, comfort, and a listening ear. Surround yourself with people who uplift and encourage you through this journey, reminding you that you are not alone.

  3. Prioritise Self-Care:

    4. Start dating yourself. Taking care of yourself both physically and mentally is essential. Whether you love going to the cinema, taking time out for yoga or crafts, actively pursuing activities that bring you joy will help you reconnect with your true self. Focus on nourishing your body with healthy food, engaging in regular exercise, and getting enough rest. Get into the habit of journaling your thoughts down or channelling your feelings into a creative outlet. Self-love is always at the top of our priority list, so investing in a new vibrator or toy is a pleasurable and fun way to keep on top of your well-being.

How do you get over them hurting you?

If the relationship has ended and you’re feeling incredibly hurt by something your ex did, it’s hard to forgive and let go. It’s natural if you feel like you want to get even or start trying to score points to get back at your ex, but honestly, it’s just a waste of your energy. You’re far too precious and wonderful to do that – pour your energy into you and watch how quickly you thrive. Getting over heartbreak can help you become the best version of you, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time.

  1. Embrace new experiences:

    2. While it may be tempting to cocoon yourself away from the world, you have to embrace new experiences that foster personal growth and discovery. Explore new hobbies, or revisit hobbies you once loved. Travel, or take up activities that you've always wanted to try. Step outside of your comfort zone once in a while and allow yourself the chance to expand your horizons. Throw yourself into something you’re passionate about and feel the fires of confidence within you start to burn.

  2. Stay positive and focus on personal growth:

    3. It's okay to be angry, but it’s all too easy to get stuck in a negative mindset if you dwell for too long. So it’s important to shift your perspective from dwelling on the past to embracing the future. Use this time as an opportunity for personal growth, self-reflection, and self-improvement. Invest in self-development books or consider seeking professional help like a therapist or personal trainer (if focussing on fitness works for you). By focusing on personal growth, you will regain your sense of purpose and rediscover your worth.

  3. Practice forgiveness:

    4. Forgiving your ex (and even yourself) is a huge step in the healing process. Holding onto anger and resentment only prolongs the pain and prevents you from moving forward. Understand that forgiveness is not condoning what happened, but rather freeing yourself from the burden of the past. Letting go allows space for new beginnings and opens the door to healthy future relationships.

In short, here are some ways to get over a break-up:

DO:

  • Plan wholesome activities with your friends, whatever that looks like to you
  • Mute/unfollow their social media profiles, at least to start with
  • Make plans and have things to look forward to
  • Be kind to yourself
  • Consider therapy

DO NOT:

  • Check their social media feeds 24/7
  • Get trapped in negative thought/shame spirals
  • Isolate yourself for prolonged periods
  • Self-sabotage with substances or one too many one-night stands

Heartache is an incredibly painful experience that often leaves us feeling shattered and lost. When we deeply care for someone, we open our hearts to vulnerability and intimacy. So, when a relationship ends, it feels like an essential part of us is being torn away. Our expectations, hopes, and dreams for a future with that person are suddenly shattered.

As love activates pleasure centres and releases feel-good chemicals in the brain, our brain goes through withdrawal when those feel-good chemicals are taken away. It's important to remember that heartbreak is a natural cycle of life, and just shows that we have the capacity to love deeply. Though you’re going through it now, with time and self-care, you will heal and find love again. We promise.

Love,
AS X

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