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A Guide to Choosing the Perfect Bondage Restraints

Lock it down

How to Choose the Perfect Restraints

Has the world of bondage got you all tied up in knots, and not in the right way? Showing a little restraint in the bedroom is one of the easiest ways to indulge in a little kink, and if the thought of bondage turns you on then you should definitely give in to those desires. Go on. We dare you.

Bondage of any kind is a really intimate way to play with your partner by handing over complete control and surrendering yourself, and we're here to help with our complete guide to choosing the perfect bondage restraints. Having a helpless (but willing) victim is just as much fun as struggling against your restraints; it's all about your preference. Switch it up, tie each other down and see what works. We promise you're gonna love it.

It doesn't have to involve pain, either. The two often go hand-in-hand, but bondage can be as sensual or as painful as you want it to be. Exploration is everything and it's all about discovering what hits the right spot for you.

But where do you start? What can you use? And how do you do it? We're here to answer all these questions and more, so read on…

The dos and don'ts of restraining

Using restraints in the bedroom is fun, but there are a few rules that you need to follow in order to ensure that everyone has the best time and doesn't get hurt. But follow these simple dos and don'ts to stay safe at all times.

The dos of playing with restraints

  • Discuss the scene thoroughly and agree on a safeword beforehand
  • Stop straight away if the sub uses the safeword or sign
  • Use common sense and stop if they appear to be showing signs of discomfort or pain
  • Keep a pair of blunt scissors nearby for a quick escape from tape or rope

The don'ts of playing with restraints

  • Don't leave a restrained sub unattended
  • Never tie someone up in a way that restricts their breathing
  • Don't put any pressure on sensitive joints, veins or nerves
  • Don't restrain your sub in the same position for long periods of time

The different types of restraints

There's a whole rainbow of restraint types out there, so before you tie each other up it's important for you to learn what's out there and decide what is best for you both.

Handcuffs

Aah, a classic. Handcuffs are perfect for binding wrists and ankles to one another. You can cuff their hands in front, behind or to the bed - the choice is yours! If you're new to bondage, handcuffs are the perfect beginner toy.

Door restraints

Open up a whole new world of possibilities and take a peek inside. Door jam restraints may look a little intimidating but they are are actually incredibly easy to use and add the perfect S&M bondage vibe to your bedroom. Simply hook them over the back of a door and tie your sub into them for some hot stand-up sex.

Spreader bars

Strap in and prepare to be at the complete mercy of your Dom. Spreader bars attach to your ankles and are completely adjustable, leaving you helpless but ready for pleasure. There are all sorts of different positions that can be achieved with the use of a spreader bar, so get going!

Under bed restraints

Not everyone has four posts at the corner of their bed, which are perfect for restraining subs. But we believe that nobody should miss out on some kinky fun. Under bed restraints have really long cords that slip under your mattress, the weight of which will keep them nice and tightly in place. Have fun.

Ropes

Get all tied up with some good old bondage rope. This allows you to be a little more creative in your endeavours, perhaps letting you experiment with a bit of Japanese Rope Bondage. It looks and feels the part, is strong and durable, but feels great on your skin.

What not to use

Before you grab anything from around the house, hit the brakes and slow down for a second. There are a couple of things that you really shouldn't use for DIY bondage supplies,no matter how fun they might look.

The first thing on the no-no list: duct tape. It might seem like a classic restraint tool but it's not always great for your skin. It's an industrial strength adhesive so you can be sure it'll sting when you rip it off, and it'll probably take some hair with it too. Ouch.

But if the idea of tape really turns you on, don't despair because there is a solution: specialist bondage tape. It's non-adhesive tape that will only stick to itself rather than your skin, and you can wrap it nice and tight without doing any damage.

Rope is another classic too. In fact rope bondage is a whole area of play on its own but just like with tape, don't go for any old thing. Household rope, garden rope or sports rope is incredibly tough and coarse which means they aren't suitable for bondage play at all. But again, we have the answer. Bondage rope is nice and soft, but equally strong, which makes it perfect for keeping you in your place without irritating the skin.

Let's talk safety and comfort

How do you escape?

Once you're in, how do you get out? Whether you can escape from your restraints or not is a really important part of bondage, but there is a certain balance to strike.

Some people need to feel completely trapped, or the whole experience feels fake. Others can't relax unless they know that they can get out quickly if they really need to. It's all about discovering your partner's preferences and making them feel as comfortable as possible.

If it's your partner that's making you feel that way, then a few alarm bells should ring in your head. You should never try bondage or any form of BDSM play with someone you don't completely trust to respect your limits. But feeling a little bit nervous and wanting a planned escape route is fine, especially if you're a beginner!

Of course you'll already know all the different types of bondage restraints that are out there due to our handy guide above, but some are more suited for a quick escape than others. Satin or lace ties, or even bondage rope, is good for this because whilst you can still tie someone up nice and tight you can also leave plenty of wiggle room. There's a lot more give in the material so you can just slip free.

Cuffs or ties with velcro fastenings are also good for providing a bit more peace of mind. They bring together the best of both worlds because you can feel fully restrained but also like you can easily rip your way out if needs be.

But if you'd much rather stay put, then go for something a bit more heavy duty. Leather restraints or those with buckles and padlocks make for much stronger restrictions that you'll struggle to get out of.

Size does matter

In restraints, that is. Most restraints are nice and adjustable, with straps that will tighten and loosen as you need. You can tie rope how you like, of course. But there are a few that might not be for you if your wrists are on the larger or smaller side.

A traditional pair of handcuffs have a few notches to click through, but they're still not the most flexible restraint out there so they could be too big or too small for some. The same goes for cuffs with buckles; they will fit most people like a glove, but just like any watch, belt or far less fun item of clothing, they may be one notch too big or small for comfort.

Stay comfortable

Whilst you may be aiming for a little bit of pain during your BDSM session, it's important that you stay comfortable. Some people might like the hard bit of metal on skin that comes with a good pair of handcuffs, whereas others may find the fur models a little too tickly. Restraints not only come in all shapes and sizes, but also in all different textures, so make sure it's one that you can handle on your skin. The wrong kind of discomfort can be really distracting when you're trying to get into that submissive headspace.

Our advice is to do a bit of research and explore the different types of restraints that are out there. You might find that your initial thoughts are right, or you might be pleasantly surprised!

Don't forget the aftercare

Aftercare is an essential part of any form of BDSM play, and it shouldn't be an afterthought. Those who have been restrained can feel a little dizzy, stiff or 'out of sorts' after going through a scene. Their muscles may hurt from being in the same place for extended periods of time, and their emotions may be a little fragile.

Take good care of them from both a physical and emotional standpoint; hold them close, make sure you discuss the scene with them and perhaps give their wrists or ankles a massage to soothe those pressure points. You might also want to keep some warm towels and blankets nearby along with some Arnica cream just in case of bruises. Look after one another!