A beginner's Guide to Blowjobs

A Beginner’s Guide
to Blowjobs

Blow jobs, BJs, giving head – whatever you like to call it, pleasuring your man orally is a guaranteed way to send him into sexual ecstasy.

What is a Blow Job?

Definition:
Noun: a blow job (or fellatio) is oral sex performed on a man using the lips, mouth and tongue to stimulate the penis. Used as part of foreplay or all the way to orgasm.

Don’t let the name fool you, blow jobs have nothing to do with blowing, though they do involve using your lips, tongue and mouth to make him go wild with pleasure. Whether on its own or as part of the main event, it can be as good as full penetration, but can feel even better (for both of you) if you’ve got the technique down.

While blow jobs might seem intimidating, they’re easy enough to do when you get the hang of them. It’s all about getting in the right position and knowing how to hit the spot. Knowing how to give good head is a skill worth having, and once you’ve mastered the blow job techniques in our guide, it’s easy to give him some seriously intense orgasms.

How to give a good blow job – The Basics

What if I do it wrong? What if I can’t make him cum? Ignore any nagging doubt and give it a go, you’re bound to find something that works.

  • Be confident – don’t worry about doing it wrong. If in doubt, ask him what he likes and make sure that’s what you’re comfortable with.
  • Show him you’re enjoying it – this adds so much to his experience – no-one wants to feel like it’s a chore, him included.
  • Be the boss – there aren’t many things a man finds sexier than knowing a woman can’t wait to go down on him, and teasing can even start outside the bedroom. Suggestive texts are always a good place to start. Keep him thinking about the pleasure that awaits and he’ll be desperate for your touch when you’re finally back together.
  • When you do get down to the blow job itself, don’t go in and give him the good stuff straight away. Start off passionately. Kissing and a little foreplay should get you both fired up. Then use that new-found confidence to prolong the wait as much as possible.

How to start a blow job

  1. Get him in position. Kneel before him or lay him down and lean over on top, ready to show him your oral sex skills. Not only will your man love you taking charge, but you’ll enjoy the feeling of empowerment as you take total control of his pleasure.
  2. Take your time and tease him. Kiss him across his stomach and along the tops of his thighs. Start off with gentle kisses up and down then start to use your tongue, gradually using more and more of its surface to caress his skin.
  3. Use your tongue. Slowly run your tongue from the base of his shaft to the tip, looking into his eyes and taking time to flick the tip of your tongue of the frenulum, the sensitive part of skin that connects the foreskin to the head. Stop and make him beg for more.
  4. Open your mouth just a little as you slide your lips over the head – but don’t go too far. Work the head with your tongue, going all the way round. Introduce some suction here, then all the way down, making sure your mouth is as wet as possible to help your lips glide over him. Listen for his reactions to guide you.
  5. Don’t forget your hands. Your hand can be lightly wrapped around the base of his shaft, stroking while you’re working the head, or teasing his balls – and perineum if that’s his thing. Remember you have two hands – so make the most of them!
  6. Keep mixing it up. You should take his shaft all the way out of your mouth and start over regularly, kissing the head and slowly opening your lips to slide down.
  7. Gently twist your head as you raise and lower, suck harder or softer, flick the head gently with your tongue, tighten or loosen your grip. Try different approaches and go down the roads that make him moan the loudest.

Top tips for a great blow job

That’s the basics covered, but there’s plenty more you can do to turn a decent bj into some sensational head, which is enjoyable for both of you...

Tip 1

Use your hands – as you caress his shaft with your mouth, wrap your palm around it (hand-job style) and rub up and down in the same rhythmic motion. The added stimulation will feel great. And remember, his penis isn’t the only place around there with nerve endings – his balls and perineum (the area of skin between his balls and his anus) are very sensitive to the touch of your hands… and your mouth.

Tip 2

Read his body language – your blow job is only as good as the pleasure it gives, so make sure you pay attention to your man’s visual and verbal clues. If he’s moaning in ecstasy, keep doing what you’re doing, or even slow it down to prolong the pleasure. If not, try something else.

Tip 3

Mix things up – whilst the tried and tested method definitely gets an orgasm, don’t be afraid to get creative. Switch angles or positions, swirl your tongue around then lick it like a lollypop – the slow brush of your tongue can feel like heaven.

Tip 4

Take little breaks – let’s face it, giving head can get a little uncomfortable. Sore neck and jaw lock, anyone? To prevent this, be sure to pull off from time to time and take a break from the blow job. Your hands – and your boobs (using them to caress his penis, or go all the way with a tit wank) give you a great way to mix things up while you get your breath back.

Tip 5

Watch those teeth – while a little nibble is fine, you definitely don’t want any scraping action going on. Ouch! The best way to avoid this is to take care and shield your teeth with your lips.

Tip 6

Lube up – add some extra slide to your blow job action, but make sure it’s water-soluble as you’ll likely swallow some of it. You could even try our range of edible lubes and licks to give things a fruity flavour.

Tip 7

Look into his eyes – not all guys are into this, but eye contact can be a huge turn on. Glance up every now and then or maintain eye contact for longer to make this intimate act even more intense.

Tip 8

Show him you’re enjoying it too – It’s not only getting a blow job that’s hot. Giving one should be too, so show him you’re enjoying it. Plus any moaning you do while he’s in your mouth will provide vibrations guaranteed to make his toes curl.

The Grand Finale

It’s important to know when he’s going to cum, but how can you tell?

This is where communication comes into play. Chat with him before and make sure he tells you just as he’s about to climax, as he’s unlikely to remember his own name just before he cums, never mind have a reasonable discussion. Decide what you’re comfortable with between the two of you.

Spit or Swallow?

Remember you’re the boss. Yes, it’s true that blow jobs – and how they end – tick a lot of boxes for men, but it’s not all for them. The power you have as a woman to act out his fantasies and amaze him with your blow job skills is something that can be truly sexy for you too.

It might be that cumming in your mouth is fine – and it’s always your call whether to spit or swallow. If that’s not something you want to do, lots of men have fantasies of cumming elsewhere on your body – just make sure you’re ok with what he has in mind (and be prepared to wash your hair afterwards if he aims for your face!).

Finally, right before climax, give his balls a gentle tug for added intensity. It’ll blow his mind.

How to give the best blow job

If you really want to give your man a head to remember, there are plenty of naughty little tips and tricks to try:

Tease the perineum

As well as using your mouth to pleasure his penis, use your lips and tongue to kiss, flick and tease his scrotum and the perineum (the particularly sensitive spot between his balls and anus). Your hands can also take care of this area while he’s in your mouth.

Go hot and cold

By sucking on an ice cube or sipping a hot drink before putting him in your mouth, you can give him some added tingle. Just make sure you warn him first... you don’t want to send him into shock!

Use sex toys to improve a blow job

Introducing sex toys to the mix can take his pleasure to the next level and keep things varied. You just need to think outside the box…

Make your mouth vibrate

No, this isn’t some bizarre beatbox-type trick. We’re talking sex toys. By placing a bullet vibrator underneath your chin or against your cheek, the intense vibrations will travel through your mouth and take the pleasure to another level. Humming while he’s in your mouth can have a similar effect if you want to go low-tech.

Slip on a cock ring

By restricting blood flow, cock rings keep your man harder for longer. The more you can extend the pleasure during the blow job, the more intense his orgasm will be. Choose from a standard, stretchy cock ring or one that vibrates to blow his mind!

Pop in a butt plug

If he’s up for some backdoor play, (gently!) pop in a butt plug. These not only add pressure (increasing the intensity of climax), but also touch the prostate, or ‘p spot’ for some new, explosive sensations.

How to Deep Throat

If you’ve never done it before, you’ve probably at least heard of deepthroating. The idea of taking your partner’s whole shaft down your throat may seem a little intimidating, but it’s certainly something to try if you’re willing to push the boundaries.

The sensations he gets as the tip of his penis touches the back of your mouth feel incredible. Then, of course, there’s the whole S&M element.

The question is, how do you get it right? Here are a few tips:

  • Practise with a prop – Using a banana, dildo or vibrator, testing out how far you can take things beforehand is a good idea. Half the battle is learning to relax. If you’ve done it before, your mouth will be much more obliging.
  • Go inch by inch – There’s nothing like gagging to take you out of the moment. To avoid this, put it in inch by inch. That way it won’t feel as much of an intrusion.
  • Don’t forget to breathe - And if you end up taking too much in the heat of the moment, don’t be afraid to pull back and start again when you’re ready.
  • Make sure you’re both clear on what’s ok – he might have seen men holding a woman’s head and thrusting in porn, but if you want to do this in real life you need to be able to know that you can stop it at any time you want. Make sure the trust is there.

And, if you’re keen to step things up, why not combine it with some S&M bondage fun?

Now he’s satisfied, don’t forget to ask your guy to return the favour

Point him in the direction of our top tips for oral sex for women to make sure you get the best head too!