(*And, as far as we’re concerned, there’s nothing wrong with that…)
There are Google searches we expect to trend over Christmas – like ‘how long to cook a turkey for’ and ‘how to wrap a football’, but we found that, actually, searches for ‘sex’ reach a peak during the week of Christmas every year. Our team decided to investigate which sex topics people are searching for over Christmas and get to the bottom of just what it is about the festive period that turns us on.
Trying Things for the First Time
A lot of the data indicated that people are more open to trying things for the first time or refining their skills during the festive period, with searches for ‘how to give a blowjob’ and ‘bondage for beginners’ both increasing by almost a quarter.
We also found a trend in people wanting that ‘backstage pass’ for the first time. Searches for ‘how to have anal sex’ go up by 23% – but their preparation doesn’t just end there as ‘how to use lube’ (good plan!) and ‘how to use a butt plug’ also see similar peaks.
Sarah Wright, our Head Sex Toy Buyer, said: ‘With 40 years of experience in the field, we’re often the first port of call when people are thinking of trying something new in the bedroom. Our advice when thinking about experimenting with our sex life is to always:
- Talk to your partner first – share your desires and make sure you’re clear on where the boundaries are.
- Set the mood and give yourself time – just what those twinkly lights and days off work are for, right?
- Get the right kit! Sex toy reviews and guides can tell us things we never expected, and finding the right lube is never a bad thing.
What Is It About Christmas That Makes Us so Passionate?
Why is it that we’re seeing all this evidence of people being more open minded than they were in November? Maybe it’s the time off work with no alarm in the morning, the longer nights… or all the Baileys? We asked Jodie Slee, a qualified sex therapist from Sensate Therapy, for her view on what makes us so open to experimenting in the bedroom at this time of year:
“Evidence suggests that rather than being a reaction to the weather or a biological shift, this spike in sexual interest is more a cultural/social phenomenon. Christmas, like other Holidays and celebrations, evokes a novel and exciting atmosphere of closeness, intimacy and giving.
“An increase in emotional intimacy always increases the potential for physical intimacy by keeping sex firmly on your radar. There’s also the correlation between giving and receiving, so people generally feel more appreciated, generous and desired around times when gifts are exchanged.
“Alcohol and time off from work most definitely help too!”
Jodie also spoke with us about the importance of making the effort to have the sex life we want:
“One of the biggest myths that I have to dispel as a sex therapist is that great sex comes naturally and spontaneously. In actual fact, the best sex happens when there is open and clear communication around a couple’s sexual likes and, of equal importance, their dislikes.
“It’s like cooking someone their favourite meal without asking them what their tastes are first.”
“Discussing your preference for foreplay duration or sexual position with a partner in order to have a clear picture of what satisfies you might not sound sexy but, in reality, that’s exactly what’s needed.
There’s also experimentation of course. What is the science behind getting sexy?
“This can all be explained by brain chemistry! Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that’s released in the brain in huge amounts when couples fall in love. It’s a powerful hormone that leaves people feeling energised, exhilarated and obsessed with their new partners. The reason that intense honeymoon period comes to an end is because the brain stops releasing dopamine in such vast quantities.
“Sexual novelty provides humans with the biggest natural hit of dopamine possible.”
“One way to ensure you and your partner get a hit of dopamine is novelty. Sexual novelty provides humans with the biggest natural hit of dopamine possible. Introducing something new such as new lingerie, new sex toys, new locations etc. into the bedroom increases libido, arousal and satisfaction (not to mention ridding couples of sexual boredom), as well as influencing the production of oxytocin and vasopressin which make couples feel more in love and closely bonded.”
Sex in New Places
Although not as popular as honing sexual skills or trying new things, searches for ‘how to have sex at a party’ (when what’s underneath your Christmas party outfit is just as important…) increased by 25%. And the sex doesn’t have to stop when you’re staying with relatives either – ‘how to have sex quietly’ also sees a 33% rise.
Our top tip is: see which creaks least, the bed or the floorboards. If both, head for the shower or the wall furthest away from your hosts’ room (like ‘The Column’ below). Enjoy!
New Year’s Resolutions
We also found that there are trends following Christmas, indicating that people might be ‘cashing in’ sexual promises or making use of their favourite Christmas gifts from their partners after the decorations have gone down (see what we did there?). ‘How to use a vibrator’ increases by a fifth and ‘how to do a tit wank’ by 80%!
And that’s not just for couples either – searches for ‘porn for women’ increase by 83%, and why not? There’s a world of porn out there for us, made by women, for women and – trust us – it’s no less hot.
Not Such a Silent Night
We think it’s great that Christmas – for many reasons – gives us cause to spice up more than our mulled wine. We absolutely should make the most of those cosy nights, long lie-ins, new lingerie and hopefully some thrilling stocking-fillers.
But how can we make sure we don’t go back to basics until next Christmas? Jodie shared some of the top tips she gives to her clients about keeping the magic going all year round:
“Sexual desire and arousal are context specific, so it’s important for couples to work out what aspects of the holiday season turn them on and how that can be recreated the rest of the year. For example, are you more likely to dim the lights, light candles and put on soft soothing music at Christmas, which creates a romantic and intimate atmosphere? If so, recreate this atmosphere a few times throughout the week creating more opportunities for sexual contact. Also:
- Don’t underestimate non-sexual touching – this provides more opportunity for sexual touching.
- Keep introducing novelty all year round in the form of sexual experimentation, new lingerie, having sex in different places or at different times of day. That’ll keep those dopamine levels high.
- Prioritise your sex life by making sure it’s on your agenda – it takes effort.
- Even take the ‘just do it’ approach – the more sex you have, the more attachment based and feel-good hormones you release, meaning the more sex you want!”
An orgasm is for life, not just for Christmas!
Love Team AS X