Lead Expert
Dr Pam Spurr

"Highly accredited celebrity sexpert on hand to give you advice and tips on your sex life."

 

Dr. Pam Spurr is a chartered psychologist working as a self-help expert and broadcaster. The author of 14 self-help books she has an online sex and love column with the Sun newspaper as well as writing regularly in the newspaper itself - recent topics include infidelity, sex parties, obsessions, divorce, asexuality, depression, online dating and relationship issues.

Dr. Pam has appeared on countless television programmes including Daybreak, This Morning, Channel 5 news, BBC Breakfast and is one of the resident experts on Celebrity Big Brother and Big Brother. A Sony award winning radio presenter she's worked on commercial and BBC radio stations and presently has a weekly agony aunt slot on Heart FM North West and Wales.

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Get 'toyful' with each other

With a massive 80% of Brits using sex toys fairly regularly plus 71% saying they’ve tried them with a partner, you’d think everyone feels confident trying them. But that’s not the case and in my work I hear from many who feel a bit shy or aren’t sure which toys to try out.

No fear, you can easily build your sex toy confidence with these tips:

*First off let’s remember your bedroom-etiquette: no whipping out a great big shiny vibrator in the middle of foreplay, announcing it would “ really satisfy” you - this could feel threatening to your partner.

*Begin by checking out the fabulous range of toys Ann Summers offer. Instead of feeling you don’t know where to start and you’re clueless, reading about them and checking out the photographs lifts your confidence. You can decide which one looks like fun for sex play with your partner.

*Depending how you think your partner will respond choose your moment wisely, maybe when you’re cuddling. In a casual and confident tone ask if they’re intrigued about trying sex toys. If they sound interested suggest having fun choosing something together on Ann Summers online. If they sound positively excited say you’ve got one as a surprise to share.

*Sometimes men take a little convincing, though, that they’ll enjoy the sensations from sex toys. Tease him by saying you’d love to sex-periment on him - that will instantly raise his temperature - especially if he likes a bit of sex chat about you taking control during sex.

*Liven up foreplay by gently stimulating each other’s pleasure zones with either a fingertip vibrator or a full-size one. Gently drizzle some lubricant on her breasts, tummy, inner thighs, etc. Slip the vibrating toy through the lubricant and across and around these highly sensitive areas. Play fair, he now gets his pleasure zones stimulated like this.

*Build sexual tension further by using the sex toy to fully stimulate her clitoral and vaginal regions. If she likes anal-play for hygiene reasons use separate toys for vaginal and anal stimulation. He might like being anally stimulated with his own toy so keep the sex chat flirty and open and ask what would please him. Fully read the instructions on how to use your toys to maximise pleasure.

*Intermingle touching each other with your hands and mouths with sex toy-play. For instance suck and kiss her nipples and then circle them sensually with a finger-tip vibrator. Versatility increases excitement.

*Ditto during full sex, he can pause, withdraw and get fantastic vibrations going again on her favourite pleasure zones. Restart full sex for breath-taking orgasms.

*Remember if you prefer a non-vibrating toy Ann Summers has a wonderful range of dildos for full satisfaction.

*You can use vibrators on each other during full penetration too. Reach between your pubic regions and gently rub a vibrator back and forth across her clitoral region. Doing this during gentle thrusting will drive her crazy.

*There are also the exciting couples’ vibrators from, e.g., Lelo for use during full penetration. They can bring you closer as you share the experience and give you a red hot climaxes.

*Your confidence has increased so try the new erotic-looking Metal and Silicone range. The different sensations of the beautifully crafted metal and silicone will get you tingling. You can experience contrasting temperatures with the two different materials - experiment with warmer or cooler to find what you like best.

With countless varieties of sex toys you’ll never run out of exciting ways to tease and please each other.